all the leaves are brown and the sky is gray.
i’ve been for a walk on a winter’s day.
i’d be safe and warm if i was in L.A.;
california dreamin’ on such a winter’s day.
(the mamas and the papas)
i have been thinking about things over here.
the eating, the sleeping, the sitting. yep, that sitting will get to you after a bit. i work from home mostly and i am at the computer a lot. i also sit when i paint. and during this long winter i always seem to find myself falling into the trap of snacking more. and sitting more. last sunday as #snowmageddon hit, bryce asked if i would want to go work out. every stinking time he does this i can feel my body revolt. i tense up and i think not nice things. bryce runs marathons. he exercises every day. for him running and exercise is what creating is to me. but creating doesn’t keep wintery lbs off. and sometimes i look at him and i want to slap him because i can’t keep weight off and he is a twig right now. insert disclosure ( i realize that truly the weight thing at the end of the day doesn’t matter. and this isn’t about how much one should weigh so stick with me. )
for me, as i turn with each new year, i learn more about me. and with each one of the turns i feel more complete with who i am. and i love that. some days it is hard for me to see how far i have come in this life. but i do know that i have had body issues since i was a little girl. what first started with deep insecurities, turned to the not enough and then to the i am not as skinny as her, as tall as her, blah blah blah. but it is real and it has to be dealt with daily or it rolls into a hefty snowball.
with the turn of this year, i am looking at my fifty turns. it is so hard for me to even say that without giggling. i mean. how the heck did that even happen. how do i have pixies who are grown and out on their own, for the most part. some days when i think back over the different events i often think. mostly think – wow that could have been handled differently. or shit! you rocked that.
back to sunday. i felt my body tighten and my mind say grrrrrrrrr. and then i made the choice to say YES. and then the next sunday (yesterday) he asked again. i felt that urge to throw something at him again! but i made myself say YES even faster this time.
so…..more the the hell yeah!
yes. to being kinder to my health and body. we juice, eat well rounded meals but i can fall off the healthy wagon so easily. so yes to maintaining that goodness more on a daily basis
yes. to moving more. whether it is running (slow jog), yoga, hoolahooping or even walking orders 4 blocks to the post and back. more movement.
yes. to little adventures. taking off and soaking up whatever we find along the way.
yes. to finding some new clothes!
yes. to more trips to ikea! i mean who doesn’t get happy at ikea. (okay i know two dudes, but there is a bar nearby. they can deal.)
yes. to signing up for some summertime 5ks.
yes. to wearing a happy bright lipstick
yes. to getting rid of what we haven’t used. looked at or need for the last few years.
yes. to planning a BIG birthday party.
but mostly. yes to whatever i think deserves my yes. because when i am in my groove, the cranks are squelched.
what would you like to say yes to?
. . . . .
this is my word that i am channeling as this year turns. i am creating happy little custom slices. these tuck perfectly into tiny sacred spaces. on your personal altar, wherever you need it to be for a sweet reminder. if you would like to add a pretty little slice to your space, hop on over to the shop. i would love to create one just for you!